Thursday, June 21, 2007

The bliss of Solitude - பிழைத்த தென்னந்தோப்பு

Amidst the green fields, along the bank of a pond
With not a soul in sight, I came to be alone.
In the storm that had passed - trees,innumerable
like transplanted seedlings, were strewn around.
In a small patch of land - a grove of coconut trees,
a sharecropper's livelihood - the storm had left alone.
A few had fallen, but many trees were untouched
let them live, had decided the God of Winds.
I have found solitude - it has its own meaning.
Solitude I've often found - has an essence of its own.
The ray that drives away the cold - is it not the nectar of life?
Majestic was the sun in the sky, spreading rays of happiness
that cheered the grains to sway in a song
I stood in the shade, amongst the trees that were left,
And understood, that in verse do I find eternal bliss.
Praise thee, goddess, those that praise thee live on,
Praise thee goddess, these are my words, forget not.


வயலிடையினிலே - செழுநீர் மடுக் கரையினிலே,
அய லெவருமில்லை - தனியே, ஆறுதல் கொள்ள வந்தேன்.
காற்றடித் ததிலே - மரங்கள் கணக்கிடத் தகுமோ?
நாற்றி நைப்போல - சிதறி நாடெங்கும் வீழ்ந்தனவே,
சிறிய திட்டையிலே - உளதோர், தென்னஞ் சிறு தோப்பு
வறியவ னுடைமை - அதனை வாயு பொடிக்கவில்லை
வீழ்ந்தன சிலவாம் - மரங்கள், மீந்தனபலவாம்;
வாழ்ந்திருக்க வென்றே அதை வாயு பொறுத்துவிட்டான்
தனிமை கண்டதுண்டு- அதிலே, சார மிருக்கு தம்மா!
பனிதொலைக்கும் வெயில் - அதுதேம் பாகுமதுர மன்றோ?
இரவி நின்றதுகாண் விண்ணிலே, இன்பவொளித்திரளாய்
பரவி யெங்கணுமே - கதிர்கள், பாடிக் களித்தனவே,
நின்ற மரத்திடையே - சிறியதோர் நிழலினில் இருந்தேன்;
என்றும் கவிதையிலே - நிலையாம், இன்பம் அறிந்து கொண்டேன்,
வாழ்க பராசக்தி!- நினையே வாழ்த்திடுவார் வாழ்வார்;
வாழ்க பராசக்தி! - இதையென், வாக்கு மறவாதே!

Thanks to Lalita Mukherjea and Zero for refining the translation.

8 comments:

ammani said...

Beautiful! But so much more potent in Tamizh. Loved the line 'found solitude...'. It resonates deep.

M S said...

Excellent chenthil...Translation at it's best...You made us enjoy our Tamizh..Thanks :-)

Chenthil said...

Thanks Ammani. If I could make it as potent as the Tamizh version, then I would have been Bharathi by now :-). That line is awesome - 'thanimai kandadhundu - athil oru saram irukkudhamma'. I have used meaning for 'saram', may be essence would have been better.

Thanks MS.

Zero said...

I think so too, regarding 'saaram.' Also, I felt 'தனிமை கண்டதுண்டு' lost a bit of its meaning.

Thanks for the Bharathiyar poem and its translation, by the way.

Lalita said...

Lovely. Like I said, a true and faithful translation and moving too. Bravo, Chenthil.

Anonymous said...

Your translation interprets a little too much, I think -- your title for example is not a literal translation; "vazhga" is not "praise," much less the anachronistic "praise thee". A closer translation might give the poem in English more flavor.

(Is "amongst trees" right? I would have guessed that it would be "amidst trees", but I could be wrong.)

Nastikan

Chenthil said...

Nastikan, I used Solitude in title because I felt that was the essence of the poem. 'The mangrove that escaped' didn't sound attractive.

Regarding Valga in the last line, I tried 'Long Live', but was told by a friend that it sounded like political rhetoric, hence changed it to 'Praise'.

Anonymous said...

Well, beginning by telling the reader the "essence" of the poem is to give the game away at the very beginning, which B does not do. He begins by evoking the scenery and working his way up to bliss. It's not a very faithful translation, line by line ("green", "soul", "goddess", "praise thee" etc) or in texture, I think. I would also question the awkward phrasing unjustified by form ("And understood, that in verse do I find eternal bliss.")

The danger of translating B into English is that he comes across as a windbag of Romantic cliches, which he was, but he was also pungent and colloquial.