Saturday, July 07, 2007

Attempted verse

This is a poem I wrote in some forum long back. Recording it here just for the sake of it.

செத்த எலி வால் மீது
படாமல் கவனமாய்
வண்டி ஓட்டுகிறான்
ஐந்து விரல் கன்னத்தில் பதிய
அறைந்த என் கணவன்.

Translating this would be difficult. It would roughly be

He drives carefully
so as not to squash the dead rat,
my considerate husband
whose slap has left his
finger imprints on my cheek.

16 comments:

neha vish said...

Love this!

Anonymous said...

Sogaththin arumaiyana velippaadu.

Zero said...

I've tagged you and all. (I've to notify as per the rules. So, there.)

Chenthil said...

Neha, Anon - thanks.

Zero - saw that. May or may not respond

Zero said...

Whatever, sir! Moonu per-a tagganum 'naanga... taggitten.

Krish Ashok said...

Beautiful

Blogeswari said...

Sooper! Super.. romba naalikaproam thelivaana kavidhai padicchen.

Sanket said...

Wicked.

Chill said...

Hi,

Looking at the core of your Haiku/ Poem, the guy who avoids the dead rat is self centered anyway because he doesn't want some gross rat meat in his vehicle. Thats a negative.

Slapping his wife again is a negative. So looking at the inner concept you're not comparing a positive and negative but a negative and another negative, whick kinda makes the poem lose its sheen.

No offense. Just felt that way. My 2 cents.

Neets said...

the contrast.... oh how true... i know two people who fit in this... though the guy isnt physically violent... he seems to have a trouble understanding human emotions.... pretty much like trampling on them. but has high regards for human rights.
how did you think of this?

Deepa said...

Nice one. Isnt this haiku?

Chenthil said...

Krish, Blogeswari, Sanket - Thanks.

Chill - The husband is so softhearted when it comes to the external world, that he feels squeamy to even squash a dead rat, but when it comes to his wife, he doesn't care. That was my view of the situation. To each his own.

Neets - I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid squashing the dead rat. That set me thinking about how careful and considerate I am with inanimate objects, and the thought process led to this verse. No, I don't hit my wife.

Deepa, no, this is not a haiku. Haiku has strict structure - it is made of three lines, with a total of 17 words. This is just free verse.

Ideamani said...

Brilliant.

ashok said...

aahaa!

பாரதிய நவீன இளவரசன் said...

கவிதைதான்; ஆனால் யதார்த்தம் கசக்கிறது.

இந்த மாதிரி multiple personality disorder நம்ப எல்லாருக்கிட்டயும் இருக்கத்தான் செய்கிறது.

நல்ல பதிவு.

Nandha said...

aalai illatha oorukku illuppai poo sakkarai

So many comments for nothing...

I reflect "Chill" comments, comparing negative with negative.

He treats the dead rat and his wife in same way.. Nothing really great about this.

Come on senthil give us something good.