Two poems from Dorothy Parker

I came acoss these two poems of Dorothy Parker. Found them good enough for me to forward them to a couple of friends.

Resumé

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.


Fighting Words

Say my love is easy had,
Say I'm bitten raw with pride,
Say I am too often sad--
Still behold me at your side.
Say I'm neither brave nor young,
Say I woo and coddle care,
Say the devil touched my tongue--
Still you have my heart to wear.
But say my verses do not scan,
And I get me another man!

Trivia: Many of Parker's quotations are still in vogue today. Some examples are:

"The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism."

"I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true."

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

More details here