Sunday, November 19, 2006

Consultants and Constellations

We had hired a senior consultant to audit our operations. The need arose because of the inefficiencies we knew were there in the system, but were unable to attend to. It also helped that the consultant taught me Management Finance during my PGDBA. He is one of the best when it comes to studying balance sheets and pinpointing the problem. The real no nonsense type of man, one of the faculties I admired in college.

So we were discussing things threadbare. He was asking uncomfortable questions, and I was being truthful. He finally came to the core of the issue, that there was interpersoanl issues between the promoter and the manager(me). He asked me what my Janma Rasi was. I was stumped but answered,Kettai (Jyeshta).

His face lit up. He said , "All these problems you are facing are due to the change in your stars. Go to Nanganallur Anjaneyar temple, they sell a red string there. Tie it around your writst and visit the temple for five saturdays continuously. By January 15, your problems would vanish. I too am born in the same star, and faced such problems last month. I went to the temple and now my problems are over". He proudly lifted his right hand and showed me the thread tied around his wrist.

So next time you see me, you know where the red thread around my wrist came from.

13 comments:

Nilu said...

The satellites that this country sends to monitor weather are launched after consultations with astrologers.

Nandhu said...

it's perhaps too subtle, but are u being sarcastic towards astrology?

Chenthil said...

Nandhu, ofcourse. I am sarcastic towards religion itself

Prabu Karthik said...

he is using lateral thinking to solve yr problems :D

prachnaya pala angles la irundhum anugaraar pola

D.N.A. said...

How much did the consultant cost? how much did the thayathu cost? How much will it cost to replace the manager? Edhu quick fix nu puriyudha?

Anonymous said...

Temple-visiting and kavadi-carrying are curious pursuits for someone sarcastic about religion.

(Lest you think I'm being unholier than thou, I hasten to add that I'm listening to songs from Thiruvilaiyadal as I write.)

Nastikan

arvind said...

Have you not wondered why the fertilizer supply to a nation always started with the lighting of a karpooram?

Chenthil said...

PK, you are right. He is assessing the problem from all angles :-)

DNA, Funny thing is, all his other conclusions and solutions are good. I am not making fun of him, rather wondering at the level to which religion has seeped into our minds.

Nastikan, I am not an arguing,idol breaking fire spewing atheist. I am just a middle class hypocrite who doesn't believe in religion but still does the rituals needed to be part of the community I am born into.

Arvind, I still remember the Iyer being ferried in the Executive Director's car to break a coconut in front of the Urea Reactor and give go ahead to restart the plant :-)

Anonymous said...

Out of curiosity -- in what way would not "doing the rituals needed" make you "not part of the community you were born into"? Would you be excommunicated in some way? Does your community (which is what here, jati?) not contain atheists? Does "doing the needed" including aculturating the young and consulting on the appropriate rituals?

Perhaps your consultant is also a closeted atheist, saying what he thinks he ought to say to be "part of the community".

(I'm also curious about the self-described "middle-classness" of your self-described hypocrisy -- as if your interior ideas would have different expression if you were a servant, but I think that I've asked enough questions already.)

Nastikan

Chenthil said...

Nastikan, by community I meant caste. I was born into Nattukkottai Chettiar community, which is a very close knit one. If you married outside the community you are as good as excommunicated. You won't be invited to any community functions, or even if you are invited, your spouse would be treated as persona non grata.

Similarly if you don't attend the functions of your relatives, they wouldn't grace functions at your home, which is considered a great insult.

Now the question you can rightly ask is , "If the community is so regressive, then why bother about being part of the community ?". That is a choice each one of us has to make, and I have made mine.

Agree with you that the "middle class" phrase was a crass attempt at self deprecation by me. No excuses.

Hawkeye said...

u must be freakin kidding me.

i am jyeshta (kettai) and I ve been through hell the last one-two months.

now its all ok.

A said...

ROFTL ! hey go to my blog and check out my latest post! i've had an 'encounter' with the pundit too... of the weird kind

Spetsnaz said...

the consultant guided you well, but failed to give a correct explanation. Its not connected with stars kettai or kottai, it works for believers. I got everything in life due to visiting that temple whenever time permits. But as usual, athiests are as usual staunch about their identities, but abuse others. Yourself nattukottai chettiar, kamal hassan, seeman etc.